Scenario A

Student A has been home with their family for the last few months. They enjoyed spending time with them. They played games, went for walks, and watched movies together. Now it is
time to go back to school. The student worries about leaving their family. Their heart races and the student thinks something might happen to their family.

Scenario B

Student B has also been home from school for a few months. Schools closed to help them stay away from the virus. Now, even though the virus is still around, the student is told that it is time to go back to school. They are worried they might get sick when they go back to school, so they want to stay home.

School avoidance

School avoidance occurs when a child is reluctant to attend school. Another way school avoidance shows up is when a child has difficulty staying in the classroom for the whole class or the whole day. The students in scenario A and scenario B are struggling to return to school because of worries and anxious thoughts.

The cycle of anxiety

The first response to anxious feelings is to reduce them, which often occurs by avoiding what is causing the anxious thoughts and feelings. While avoidance provides relief in the short term, it often increases anxiety in the long term. By avoiding the event, the child hides or ignores the emotions, increasing the feelings of distress associated with the event. The child learns that they can not handle the event so they continue to feel anxious every time the event occurs. The anxiety can even become stronger.

Students A and B both feel anxious about going to school. They feel relief from this anxiety if they stay at home. This strengthens the belief that leaving their family or going to school is scary and should be avoided. The next time they think about school, the anxious feelings come back. This becomes a cycle that will keep increasing the level of anxiety they feel over time. Both students will struggle and have a difficult time going to school.

Good news: with help, children can turn around the cycle

Rather than avoiding, children need to learn strategies that will help them cope with their thoughts and feelings. With the support of parents and teachers, they can learn about their anxious thoughts, their fears, and how to manage them. They can also learn strategies that will help them gradually overcome their worries and fears.

Children can gradually change their behaviour (ie., school avoidance) by facing their fears in a step-by-step manner. They can start with situations that are easier to handle and then work their way to more challenging steps or situations.

There are several important steps to consider when developing a plan to tackle the anxiety cycle.

Step One: Identify the goal

In the case of school avoidance, the goal is to attend school.

Step Two: Accept the child’s feelings

Let the child know that it is normal to have worries. For example, many children worry about leaving their parents. In the current situation, both children and adults have been worried about the Covid virus. Help children to talk about their different feelings and how their body feels (e.g., tense muscles, butterflies in the stomach, etc.).

Step Three: Teach the child different types of coping strategies

Research has shown that a number of coping strategies are useful when coping with anxiety. Helpful strategies include breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, and positive thinking. It is important to teach the strategies to children when they are calm so that they know how to use them when they are feeling upset. Practice, practice, practice. Practicing using these coping strategies makes it easier to use them when they are needed.

Step Four: Make a list of steps to take to reach the goal

Start by creating a list of all the different steps it would take to make it to school. Break down the goal into individual tasks. Identify the amount of distress each task creates. Arrange the tasks from the least to the greatest distress. Similar to walking up a ladder, the first step is the task with the least distress. The second step is the task with more distress. Slowly go up the ladder, until you reach the top, the goal. At each step practice relaxation techniques and positive thinking.

Student A may need to start with spending time apart from their immediate family. They may need to spend more time with other members of their family or with family friends. Then, they may need to leave the house for short periods of time. They could go to a nearby friend’s place or go with a family friend or extended family member to a store that is farther away. Gradually, Student A goes farther from home for longer periods of time.

Student B may need to start by talking with their parents about good health practices. Then they may need to talk with their teacher who can reassure them that these health practices will also be part of the school routines. With the support of the school staff, they could visit the school before the students return to school to see what hygiene procedures have been put in place.

Step Five: Use the coping strategies while working through each step

Help the child use coping strategies selected for each step outlined in Step 4. Different strategies or a combination of strategies may be needed at each step. Praise the child’s success for using strategies, for trying, and for mastering each step. If the child struggles with one of the steps along the way, check to see if they have the strategies they need or if they need to work on an earlier step for longer before moving to the next step.

By working through the anxious feelings, the students can break the cycle of avoidance. The use of the coping strategies helps reduce anxiety to a level a child can manage. They learn that they can handle each situation and get better at believing in their ability to control their responses. This will help them approach future events confidently and they are able to go to school.