Throughout our lives, we have often heard the saying, “Practice makes perfect”. This is also true of learning coping strategies and learning to handle our difficult emotions. This section shares different ideas or situations where coping strategies can be practiced and lead to overcoming school avoidance. Practice relaxation strategies and positive thoughts.

Practice leaving the house

If your children have been spending a lot of time at home, they may feel anxious when they are expected to leave home. Practice taking trips out of the house. Start with short trips in the neighbourhood and then gradually extend to further trips for longer periods of time. During these trips, practice relaxation techniques and positive thoughts.

  • Take daily walks around the neighbourhood. Talk about the things you see. Share jokes or funny stories.
  • Encourage opportunities for your child to take walks with other trusted caregivers or friends.

Practice separation from family and caregivers

Children may need practice separating from caregivers. Try to find opportunities to leave your child with a familiar adult for brief periods of time and/or short distances at first. As your child gets used to a separation routine, you can gradually leave for longer periods of time.

  • Develop a quick “goodbye” ritual. Rituals are reassuring and can be as simple as a special wave through the window or a goodbye kiss.
  • Leave without fanfare. Tell your child that you are leaving and that you will return, then go. Lingering can make it more difficult for the child.
  • Start by leaving for short periods of time. Gradually increase the time you are gone.
  • Follow through on promises. Return at the time you promised so your child can develop the confidence that they can count on you and can handle the separation.
  • Create a storybook about times in your child’s life where departures and returns are normal. Reunions can be shown to be joyful celebrations.
  • Playing games such as Hide-and-Seek gives the young child opportunities for separation practice and the experience of being found over and over again no matter what. Remind your child that “I will always come and find you a million times!”
  • Play with your child, acting out successful separations and reunions with toys.
    • Reverse roles and have your child be “in charge” and pretend to leave you at home or school.
  • Reading books together about spending time away from parents may help children better understand what to expect with such a separation. Visit the library, asking the librarian for suggestions of books about children separating from their parents.
  • Continually praise your children for their confidence and courage.

Practice going to school

Many children will share their worries about returning to school this fall. When this comes up, talk with your child about school. Look back on and talk about the parts of school that they have enjoyed. Reassure them that the adults in the schools are preparing the classrooms to follow health precautions.

Throughout the summer

  • Look at pictures of the school while in the comfort of your home. Talk about how enjoyable school was before the school closure.
  • Create artwork with your child by drawing pictures of the school, classrooms, and gym. Build joyful scenes of your child playing at school.
  • Plan frequent, short trips to the schoolyard.
    • Talk about what your child might see from the classroom window, new games they might learn, and fun things they might do in class.
    • Look for landmarks around the school grounds (e.g., maple tree, basketball hoop) and give them silly names.
  • Create a special transition photo book of the routines involved in going to school (ie., waking up, eating breakfast, travelling to school). End the book by arriving at the school building, waving good-bye.

During the week prior to school opening

  • In the current circumstances, contact the school principal to see if it would be possible to arrange a virtual meeting between the teacher and your child or to visit your child’s classroom if that seems necessary.
  • Help your child think of something special to show their teacher when they return to school.

During the morning of a school day

  • Remind your child of the fun things that can happen at school.
  • Leave an encouraging note in their lunch box. You could place a personal picture in the lunch box for them to look at during snack time.
  • Talk about an activity you can do with your child once they return from school in the afternoon.

As you and your child think about returning to school, continue to practice the relaxation techniques and positive statements mentioned in the previous section. Remember, your child will take their lead from you. Be calm and confident. Show that this is a normal situation and that you expect they can manage it.

If your child continues to experience significant worries about leaving you or going to school, contact your school principal. The principal may refer to the school’s resource professionals (ie., Psychological Services Consultants, Social Workers) for additional support and help.