Believe it or not, it seems to be easier for all of us to notice or think of the negatives instead of the positives in our day or our life. We are more apt to remember something bad that happened, a rude thing someone said to us, how we lost a game, times we have been unlucky, how someone made us feel bad, or criticized us and so on. Weird, eh?

This tendency is an actual phenomenon called the negativity bias. It happens to almost all of us, so don’t feel you are the only one. But how helpful do you think it is? It turns out, not much at all.

Our tendency to get focused on the negative can drag us down and make us cranky, irritable, angry, and more apt to say or do things that can get us in trouble. This tendency also means that we can miss out on the positive. So we don’t see or appreciate all the good things that happen, especially when those good things are just small parts of our day. We aren’t grateful because we haven’t been noticing the things that we could be grateful for.

That’s a problem. Do you know why?

Research shows that things like noticing the positive, feeling grateful, and expressing gratitude are good for us.

Gratitude makes us

  • happier
  • healthier
  • more able to tolerate stress and tough situations
  • better at noticing the positives, which then makes us happier, healthier, more able to tolerate stress

It is like one big positivity circle. And the starting point of that circle that can help us battle against the negativity bias is as simple as just being grateful.

How to bring more gratitude into your life

Start an “I am grateful for…” collage

  • Find photos, cut pictures or words out of magazines, or draw/write about people, places, things, experiences, times etc. that you are grateful for.
  • Post these on a large piece of paper (or a bunch of smaller papers that you attach together).
  • Your grateful items can be small and simple (e.g., a popsicle, petting your cat, hearing your favourite song on the radio etc.) or big and general (e.g., having a home, your family, your health etc.). Post the collage where you can see it.
  • Keep adding to it. You may even post some smaller blank pages where your family can add photos and stuff too.

Keep a gratitude journal

  • Find a notebook or grab a bunch of papers and attach them together.
    • You could even make a Google Doc on your Chromebook and use voice to text.
  • Every day (or most days) spend a few minutes and create a list of things you are grateful for.
    • Again, these things can be big or small. You can even repeat the same things on different days too. That’s ok!
  • If ever you are feeling down, look at your collage or pull out your journal and read through your past lists. Bet you feel better after a few minutes!

If someone in your family or a friend says or does something you appreciate, tell them or thank them

  • Let them know that you are grateful for what they said or did.
  • Even when they haven’t done anything, you can also always let people know your positive feelings about them and that you are grateful that they are in your life.
  • You can also show them by doing something kind or helpful.

Make a goal to say thank you five times a day

When you notice you are starting to complain, pause and breathe

  • Then share just one concern. Try not to go overboard thinking about and then saying every complaint you may have.

As a family, have everybody take a turn saying something (or a few things) they are grateful for

  • Maybe you could do this during a meal. Maybe you could do it every day. These things can be something that happened that day or something more general.

Find creative ways to express things you are grateful for

  • Draw something, write a poem or song, sew, paint, create a dance or a sports routine etc.

Act the way you want to feel

We think that feelings cause or affect our actions, but did you know that our actions can also create or change our feelings? An experiment that told people to walk around with a smile on their faces found that these smiley people reported feeling happier. Their faces were sending messages to their brains saying “you’re smiling, that means you’re happy” and then they noticed feeling happier. So, when we act grateful (or kind, or happy), we may actually start to feel grateful, kind, or happy. That’s a win-win!

Pretend you are a detective on the lookout for positives

The small positives that happen every day. It is easy to miss them, but they are there. When you see one, take a few moments to really notice and think (or be mindful) about that positive thing. Chances are the more you do this, the easier it will be to notice even more positive things.

For more ideas or info, check these out